中英文對照笑話

Millionaire
CEO:"My wife made a millionaire out of me." Assistant:"What were you before?" CEO:" A multimillionaire."
百萬富翁
主管人：我妻子使我成了一個百萬富翁。 助手： 以前你是什麽？ 主管人：千萬富翁。

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Part-time Job
When my son was a hign-school sophomore, he got a part-time job sacking groceries at a supermarket. He came home all smiles."How was your first day?" I asked. "It was great, Dad," he replied. "I got to talk to some good-looking girls."Since Stephen is not very talkative, I asked, "What did you say to them?" "Do you prefer paper or plastic?"
業余工作
我兒子在一所中學讀二年級時，在一家超級市場找到了一份包裝商品的業余工作。他滿面笑容地回到了家。“第一天感覺如何？”我問。“好極了，爸爸。”他答道，“我跟許多漂亮的女孩子講了話。” 由於斯蒂芬不善言談，我問道：“你跟他們說了些什麽？” “你是喜歡紙包裝還是塑料包裝

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Keys? Kiss?
A friend of mine was giving an English lesson to a class of adult who had recently come to live in the United States. After placing quite a number of everyday objects on a table, he asked various members of the class to give him the ruler, the book, the pen and so on. The class went very smoothly and the students seemed interested and serious about the work that they were engaged in until when my friend turned to an Italian student and said, "Give me the keys." The man looked surprised and somewhat at a loss. Seeing this, my friend thought that the student hadn't heard him clearly, so he repeated. "Give me the keys." The Italian shrugged his shoulders. Then, he threw his arms around the teacher's neck and kissed him on both cheeks.
鑰匙還是接吻
我的一位朋友在給一個成人學生班級上英語課。他們都是新近來美國生活的。在一張桌子上擺了許多日常用品之後，他請全班同學給他挑出尺子，書本，鋼筆等。課進行得井然有序，學生們對自己所做的似乎很感興趣，也很認真。後來輪到一名來自意大利的學生，我的朋友說：“給我鑰匙。”那人看起來非常吃驚，也有點手足無措。看到這種情況，我的朋友想是他沒有聽清楚，於是又重復了一遍：“給我鑰匙。”那位意大利學生聳了聳肩。接著，他伸出胳膊摟住老師的脖子在雙頰上親了兩下。

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Imitation
A schoolboy went home with a pain in his stomach. "well,sit down and eat your tea," said his mother. "Your stomach's hurting because it's empty. It'll be all right when you've got something in it."Shortly afterwards Dad came in from the office,complaining of a headache. "That's because it's empty," said his bright son. "You'd be all right if you had something in it."
模仿
一個男孩放學回家時，覺得肚子痛。“來，坐下，吃點點心，”媽媽說，“你肚子痛是因為肚子是空的。吃點東西，就會好的。”一會兒，男孩的爸爸下班回來了，說是頭痛。“你頭痛是因為腦袋是空的，”他聰明的兒子說：“裏面裝點東西，就會好的。”

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Who Should Be Given the Gift?
A father of five children came home with a toy,summoned his children and asked which one of them should be given the present,"Who is the most obedient,never talks back to Mother and does everything he or she is told?" he inquired.There was silence,and then a chorus of voices:"You play with it, Daddy!"
禮物該給誰？
一位有五個孩子的父親帶著一件玩具回到家裏，把孩子們召集起來問這件禮物該給誰。“誰最聽話，從不和媽媽頂嘴，讓幹什麽就幹什麽？”他問道。大家都不吭聲。過了一會兒，孩子們異口同聲地說：“爸爸，您玩吧。”

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Not to Be Taken Out Mark Twain once went to borrow a certain book from a neighbour in Tarry town. "May I borrow a book from you?" he asked politely."Yes,you're more than welcome to it," the neighbour told him. "But I must ask you to read it here. You know I make a rule never to let any book go out of my library." Some days later the neighbour wished to borrow Twain's machine for cutting grass in the garden. "Why,certainly," Twain told him,"You're more than welcome to it. But I must ask you to use it here. You know that I make it a rule never to let it go out of my garden."
概不外借
在特裏鎮，馬克.吐溫有一次去一位鄰居那兒借本書。“我可以向您借本書嗎？”他禮貌地問道。“當然，非常樂意，”鄰居告訴他，“但我要求你在這兒讀。你知道我有一條規定，那就是決不讓一本書拿出我的圖書室。 ” 幾天後，這位鄰人想從吐溫那兒借臺割草機。“噢，當然，”吐溫告訴他，“非常樂意借給你。但我要你在這兒用。你知道我從來不允許它拿出我的花園。”


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I don't know her
A couple walking in the park noticed a young man and woman sitting on a bench, passionately kissing. "Why don't you do that?" said the wife. "Honey," replied her husband, " I don't even know that woman!" 　
我還不認識她
一對夫婦在公園裏散步，發現一對年輕的男女坐在一條長凳上動情地接吻。 "你為什麽不那樣做呢？"妻子說。 "親愛的，"她的丈夫回答說，"我還不認識那個女子呢。" 　


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4 - 4 = ？
One day, the teacher inquired Peter:" How much is four minus four?" Peter was tongue-tired. The teacher got angry and said: "What a fool! You see, if I put four coins in your pocket, but there is a hole in your pocket and all of them leak out, now what is left in your pocket?" "The hole," replied Peter. 　
四減四等於幾？
一天，老師問彼得："4減4等於幾？"彼得張口結舌答不上來。 老師生氣地說："真笨！你想，我要是往你口袋裏放四個硬幣，而你的口袋上有個窟窿，硬幣全漏掉了，那麽，你衣袋裏還剩下什麽？" 窟窿，"彼得答道。